Hulk Smash!
I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love.
-Frank O’Hara, “Meditations in an Emergency”
Hulk know. Hulk have a problem.
Hulk took break from Avengers after orphanage and tanker truck incident.
Hulk’s therapist said it cry for help.
Hulk said “Hulk strong! Hulk self-reliant! Ugh!”
Who Hulk kidding? Hulk not really so incredible.
Hulk look in mirror everyday and want to smash things.
Hulk never cut out to be superhero.
Hulk really just regular Joe.
Hulk got Hungry Hungry Hippos for birthday.
But no one want to play with Hulk. Everyone too busy saving world.
Hulk like watching Tennessee Titans with bowl of chips and dip.
Hulk like to go beachcombing for giant squid carcasses.
Hulk OK guy. Just misunderstood.
Hulk really just want to have normal 9 to 5 job.
But who would hire Hulk?
Hulk first tried 7-11 cashier job in Schertz,Texas.
Hulk wore stupid uniform even though it too small.
Hulk still want to smash Slurpee machine.
Hulk think it give too much ice, not enough syrup!
Captain America lecture Hulk. Captain America douche bag.
Hulk then tried work in office job.
Hulk carpool with Joan and Frank from accounting.
Hulk wear snappy tie and dress shirt.
Hulk even bought new purple pants!
Cubicles too small for Hulk, though.
Hulk hate paperwork!
Hulk smash paper shredder!
Hulk got yelled at by Shelley in cubicle next door.
Hulk hate Shelley! (Hulk think about Shelley every day.)
-- Greg Santos
A version of this poem was first published in Nthposition.
When my son Brad was little, he loved the Hulk. One day I came home to find he'd taken the scissors to the sleeves and pants legs of all his school uniforms so he could play him more realistically.
Posted by: Laura Orem | April 15, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Very nice. Hulk pleased and impressed.
Posted by: Jennifer Michael Hecht | April 15, 2009 at 11:17 AM